WhAT a STraNGe dAY!

Wow! today i'm kinda tired and i was so frust this afternoon. I dun knoe wat happen to my head. It suddenly turn to ill mode. i felt so DIZzY and i have a sense of wana faint down on the floor dy. By that time i was doing some house keeping work in order to keep my current living place a healthy and clean place. Afterthat, i went to toilet and vomit out some disgusting things...yerky! then...i feel that my head still very sick. Then, i decided to take a short sleep in order to rest down my mind. after the sleep, finally i feel better now...oh gosh! wat a strange day i experience today. i think it's because of my high blood pressure that causes me like this...

Sky, my junior, move in to PV 10 today..! and he is so kinda lazy that he still haven get to arrange and settled his stuffs until now when i go see him just now. gosh! i can't tahan the untidiness environment. anyway, i m happy coz i have one more junior live nearby me dy..tomolo, there'll be another one more call Teck Xiang move in as Sky's roommate. wow! tats great...next time, i won't eat lunch and dinner alone dy.hahahahahahah!

Tomolo my little bro, James, will come to my house to play piano...well! just now he did play a bit for me through MSN and it sounds great huh! Erm...i m quite impressed on James as he learn these all by himself. By observation learning and of coz experiencial learning too.. this is good as we can gain a lot of things through these methods. He is a special person in my life which teach me quite a sum of things. Although he is younger than me, but i believe that no matter how old are you, everyone is worth to learn until the end of the day. not to say that young ppl can't teach older people...that's DEFINATELY wrong...even parents will also make mistakes..we are all HUMAN. OF coz we will make mistakes..so....in my opinion, youngster now adays really give us a lot of new teaching and it seems to be interesting day by day, years by years...James! a good bro cum a talented musician provided if he really out effort in MUsic.

ok! till here today...need to sleep early prepared for the sunday worship tomolo at CFC. finally, i've decided to come back to this family group as i think i have enough of being a undirectional ghost in my spiritual life. God! pls be with me till the end of the day. Amen!

Good nite to everyone and of coz to myself.

WhaT dO i rEQuiREd fROm mY fuTURe sPOusE?

These are the criterias that i look at in order to choose my future life spouse.

Criteria 1: My spouse MUST have musical background at least up to grade 8.

( coz i planned to have a musical family )

Criteria 2: Must be mature enough. ( coz i dun like those charming charming one )

Criteria 3: MUST be Open-minded as westernized thinking.

Criteria 4: Must be able to cook and do housework.

Criteria 5: Must be independant in any aspects.

Criteria 6: Work as somehow related to my profession.

Criteria 7: Well equipped with extra knowledge.

Criteria 8: Can be any religion or races but certainly not indians. Preferrable Overseas citizens.

Criteria 9: Able to be understandable to different situations.

Criteria 10: Must be good in financial planning. ( coz i m very poor in financial planning )

Alright! the above are the 10 criterias that i must consider before i really undergo for a real love process in my life. Anyone tat meet 5 out of these 10 criteria, u are highly possible to be my future spouse oh....hahahahahahaha! just joking anyway. Everything is depends on the word ' 缘'。when it's urs, it is urs. IF it is not urs, no matter how, u will still not get it.

dOEs tHIs wORld cONsisTs SOmeTHInG caLL LoVE?

Sometimes i do ask myself on " Does true love exist in this world"? Love for me now at this age, i think it's just a process which compulsary to exist in our life. Sometimes, we can't control ourself from not falling in love with someone around us but isn't it sounds forceful? Why can't we control the feeling? Somebody say "Yes, we can control our feeling. Mind is the Ultimate" Yeah! i do agree with this BUT only until a certain degree out of it.

According to my understanding on psychology, our inner feeling and our cognition is in different state or areas. We might use our powerful cognition to control over our mind so that we would feel better in some sense but i think that is just temporary. I think if we use mind to control it, one day it will return and disturb us again. It's just like kinda 'running away' from the probs. As what a counsellor told me, in Satir Model ( counselling theory ), the inner feeling is our most CONGRUENCE / TRUE friend. Our inner heart won't betray us. Tats why we have something so called 'EmOTioNs' in us.

When i slightly get attracted to a target, then i will start to program my mind dy. I start to say, i can't take this up. It will not have a happy ending. Sounds strange huh? how come i know tat it would not be a happy ending? yeah! it's a secret. i know the techniques on how to evaluate my own love experience. it's 100% accurate for me. u know why? coz i know who am i. i know my own threshold / limit.

Why life must be like that? Why can't just let me enjoy the rest of my life? i m turning to 30 soon. just a few more years ahead. why can't i have the rights to enjoy my life by doing what i wan? Why can't i spend more time in giving someone my 'love' and of coz vice versa. i m exhausted sometime. Mayb due to my body line shape and facial look, and tat makes me not popular and no demand at all. Well! i do accept on what i m now.

I just wish that there's a person who can really accept me and willing to spend time with me. Of coz, there's a few criteria that must be met by my future life partner. i will list out the criteria in my next blog. Oh god! could you pls just let me enjoy my life? i m a human also. i need love also. If everytime only i give love to others without charging it back, i will be getting more exhausted day by day and till to one day, i m dead becoz of exhausted in life.

Oh God! can u pls just give me OPTIONS in my life?

fiRsT BLog iN mY LIFe.

This is the first time i use this blogspot. Actually i've get to know this blog site long time ago but it's just tat i am not interested to use it. But now, seems like i would like to find a place for me to write something about my inner talk. Mayb some people would ask why dun i just go and buy a diary and just jot down wat ever rubbish i wan to say. Sum more, it's safer to do so coz writing blog may just easily get viewed by other ppl. Definately no confidentiality is to be practice here.

Well, i just have the kinda feeling to start writing something about my life. My life wasn't that easy to be read and understand. Even sometimes, i myself also dun know what i want actually. I do feel kinda tired and frust sometimes somedays in my life. I just HOPE to have a STOP and let me REST for a couple of minutes and let me breath fresh air for couple of seconds. I'm nearly out of breath sometimes.... Sigh!